


i'd be so lost if you left me alone

by em_23



Series: the kids aren’t alright [5]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Post 1x9, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27587476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/em_23/pseuds/em_23
Summary: “Ghosts?” Nick questioned, using the sleeve of his varsity jacket to wipe at his eyes, he felt stupid saying the word, but Julie nodded in response.orAfter being possessed by Caleb, Nick learns what happened to him.
Relationships: Nick & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Nick & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: the kids aren’t alright [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1970626
Comments: 5
Kudos: 80





	i'd be so lost if you left me alone

If anyone ever told him that recovering from something traumatic was easy, he was sure that he’d probably punch them. 

After appearing in Julie’s studio, the three boys surrounding her, the same ones that he’d been seeing the past week, the same three that no one else had been able to see but him, he’d almost worked his way into a panic attack, his stomach twisting painfully, chest tightening. 

He’d ended up on the black leather couch that was pushed against the wall, the four of them sitting around him, explaining some of what he’d missed in those three weeks. 

“Ghosts?” Nick questioned, using the sleeve of his varsity jacket to wipe at his eyes, he felt stupid saying the word, but Julie nodded in response. 

A CD was wordlessly dropped in his lap and he picked it up, fingers tracing over the white letters on the front before he opened up the plastic to reveal the image of four boys, three of whom were sitting around him in different chairs. 

“When di-” 

“1995.” Julie’s drummer answered, the one he’d seen in the cafeteria wearing the pink hoodie and backwards cap, Alex. 

Nick exhaled, but the feeling in his stomach settled, “And you’re saying that I was possessed?” 

He watched as the four of them exchanged glances, how the bassist's mouth was half open with an answer before a glare from Julie cut him off. 

“Caleb,” Nick tried to hide his flinch at the name, a ringing appearing in his ears, he’d heard that name before, maybe the darkness hadn’t been so dark, “Basically,” Julie continued, voice wavering, “He wanted the boys in his band, and he gave them an ultimatum.” 

“Basically,” Luke looked to Julie before looking back at Nick, “It was join his band, cross over or get destroyed by these jolts.” 

Nick looked down at his hands, trying to process the information that he was being given, it should have sounded crazy, but the things that he’d been through in the last week, the darkness in the three weeks before that? Nothing seemed that far fetched anymore. 

“But none of those things happened?” He looked up, eyes flicking between the four of them. 

“No, Julie saved us.” Alex answered, turning his drumsticks between his fingers. 

“With love.” The bassist finished, a lazy smile on his face as Luke gave him an exasperated look. 

“But that wasn’t it, was it?” He drummed his fingers on his knee, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know anything else. 

“No.” Julie shook her head, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her thighs, her dark hair fanning around her, “Then he possessed,” Nick flinched, “you and tried to get to us.” 

“Tried?” He sniffed. 

“He’s not going to bother us again.” Luke spoke, his voice firm, Nick couldn’t help the small tug at his stomach when the word  _ us _ was used, like he was apart of this now, apart of something. 

Nick nodded, he didn’t want to push, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the reason for the finality in Luke’s voice, like there was no chance the ghost that had possessed him would return and try it again. 

He inhaled, he’d gotten his answers and if he looked at Julie one more time and saw that look on her face, the one that was full of regret and worry, he was going to break down again and he wasn’t sure he could put himself back together this time. 

“Okay.” He nodded again, getting to his feet, “Okay, yeah, thanks.” He breathed, looking around the studio, not at any of them. 

“Nick?” Julie asked, voice soft, “You don’t have to leave.” 

“I have somewhere to be.” He lied, stepping around the table and towards the door, not glancing back over his shoulder. 

  
  


The beach was silent, which was exactly the opposite of what was happening in his head, he stepped onto the sand, feeling his shoes fill with every step he took closer to the water, his thoughts wondering to what if he just kept walking, into the ocean, away from all his problems, he wondered if it’d be peaceful. 

“Are you okay?” A voice spoke, invoking a flinch from Nick as he turned, the faint pressure of hands on his neck before he blinked, this wasn’t him getting possessed again. 

He glanced back, eyes settling on the pale bassist from Julie’s band, “I’m fine.” 

The ghost sat on the sand, bringing his knees to his chest and crossing his arms, “That’s what I used to say when my parents were fighting and I needed to get away.” 

Nick swallowed, keeping his feet and looking back to the water, “I think this is a little different from that.” 

“Yeah.” There was a pause, the sound of the waves almost overcoming him, “I’m Reggie.” 

Nick inhaled sharply, his chest tightening before he rubbed at his eyes, glad it was dark enough that the other wouldn’t see the tears falling freely down his cheeks, “Nick.” He answered. 

“Do you want to sit?” 

“No.” 

“Alright.” 

He didn’t know how long he was silent for, staring at the waves in front of him and just wondering what it would feel like, he’d never feared the water, he’d been surfing since he could remember, he wondered if his body would let him drown. 

“Did you think you were going crazy?” The words pulled him from his thoughts, he exhaled, if he was contemplating this, he wanted quiet. 

“No.” Nick answered, pulling at the sleeves of his jumper. 

“Really? I would have.” Reggie answered, “Seeing people that no one else could see? I’m sure I would have gone a little crazy.” 

He paused, his stomach twisting, he wasn’t really contemplating this, was he? 

“I still think I’m crazy.” He spoke, voice soft, taking a few long moments before turning back to look at the bassist sitting on the sand. 

“I’m sure Julie thought the same at first, when we appeared in the studio, I don’t know who screamed the loudest, her or us.” He smiled. 

Nick hesitantly sat on the sand next to Reggie, leaving space between them, “You were in calculus, with Julie.” 

Reggie nodded, looking out at the water, “Math is comforting.” 

“Comforting?” Nick frowned, unable to stop a hint of disbelief in his voice. 

There was a soft chuckle from his side, then a pause, “Every question has an answer, it makes sense.” The brunet said like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Nick considered the statement, he supposed he was right, “I still don’t know if I’d consider it comforting.” 

“Do you consider anything comforting?” 

“No.” He answered before he blinked, “Yes, kind of, not anymore? I don’t know.” He looked up at the feeling of eyes on him, urging him to continue, “Music, it is, well was, comforting. I haven’t touched my guitar since I uh,” He cleared his throat, “Got back.” 

“That’s something we have in common then.” 

Nick found that oddly comforting, “Did you use music, back in the 90s?” 

Reggie nodded, “It was our way to escape, all of us, writing and playing, it was fun but it took our minds off everything that we were worried about. You should try it.” 

Nick shook his head, his stomach twisting at the thought of touching his guitar when he hardly felt like himself, “No, no, I can’t.” He flexed his fingers, rubbing his thumb over his fingertips, feeling the calluses from his guitar strings. 

“That’s okay too.” 

Nick looked over at Reggie, thoughts calming as their eyes met, “How did you know what to do?” He asked, looking down at the sand between them. 

“I was a teenager in the 90s, we didn’t really go discussing our feelings like what happens now with this whole ‘woke’ and sensitivity thing.” Reggie paused, “My parents, they fought  _ a lot, _ I used to think it was my fault, and maybe if I was gone that they’d stop fighting?” 

Nick glanced up at the other, stomach hollowing, “How did you realise that it wasn’t your fault?” 

“It wasn’t easy.” He admitted, “My friends helped, a lot.” 

Nick sighed, picking up a handful of sand and watching the grains fall through his fingers, “I don’t exactly have a lot of friends that would understand  _ this _ .” 

“Well,” Reggie paused, gently knocking their shoulders together, Nick didn’t feel himself recoiling from the touch like he had every other time in the past week, “We’re friends, right?” 

Nick was silent, thinking the words over in his head before he glanced sideways and nodded, smiling softly, “Yeah, I guess we are.” 

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from Hold On - Chord Overstreet.


End file.
